so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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