I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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