I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
All I want is dick and wine.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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