He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
3 2 1 whiskey
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
