be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
