and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
