Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
