I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
