Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
