barbara walters just said penis...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
