you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
