I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
