The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
