guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
