There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
