The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you win again, gameday.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
