I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
