Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can't turn off my feet"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
that may or may not have been my penis.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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