and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
