Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
