I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
