y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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