I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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