I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
