guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
