this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
