i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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