Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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