we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
