lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
be right there i have to get my cape
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
