In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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