I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
