Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
