Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
