I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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