Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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