i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
