Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
my poor anus
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
