Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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