Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
do herpes really smell.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
