hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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