Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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