Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
