As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
