Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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