What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
