Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
