so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
