She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
