just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
do herpes really smell.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
