Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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