but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
