vagina is talking i cant
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
