What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
