We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
