I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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