I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
