Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
